To all my friends

Hello,

It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? I’m sure you’ve noticed I started reaching out to you all in the past couple of weeks, and you were probably thinking something either like, “Woah, she’s still alive??” or maybe, “What the hell does she want?” and that’s understandable.

I went away, I went on a little journey where I kind of left all of you behind. I left my best friend’s text go unanswered, her Facetime went unavailable, and I just refused to hang out with anyone but, yeah you know who.

But now, I’m saying sorry. I’m sorry for not hanging out with you, I’m sorry for not being there for you when you needed me, whether you had a rough week of schoolwork, a close family friend passed away, or you just had boy-troubles, I probably gave you a two-minute long conversation about trying to make you feel better and trying to get you moved on to a different person.

Well, that was crap. That was not what a decent friend does. And what do I want to be of all the things in this world? A good friend. I want to be the friend that you go to when you feel sad and you need cheering up, or when you need to vent.

I know how important venting is, especially for girls. Venting about classes, venting about boys, venting about really anything that is bothering us, it’s part of life. And I didn’t let you do it. I tried to shut you up, I stood there with a judgmental look and an obviously dismissive vibe.

It wasn’t right. And I’m so sorry. Because every single one of my friends that I’ve ever considered my close friend has been there to call and there to text when I really needed it. And that’s coming even clearer now. Because even though I’ve been gone and unreachable for six months, I can call one of you and you’ll answer the phone.

That’s lucky to me, because I don’t deserve that. But I want to be there for you like you were there for me. I’ve lost six months time, I’ve been no good at answering your calls, no good at accepting dinner or lunch invitations, and God knows I never reached out to you to hang out.

 

I should’ve realized you all were better to be around and healthier for me than that. I should’ve given you the time of day, the time of night, really any time at all. And for not giving you that, I’m truly sorry.

Now my schedules wide open for you, my heart is too. I’m letting you in if you let me back in, it’s been awhile, but it’s my job to be a good friend now, just like you were to me when I wouldn’t let you be.

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