I’ve been binge watching This Is Us with my mama and my pup and yes, I’m behind because everyone has been raving about it, telling me to watch it.
But my gosh, it’s so good, so sad, it’s just aaaaaggggghhhh. My mom and I just get so anxious when we watch it, and we cry. We cry a lot. And I said to her tonight, “Ya know, I’d rather be crying over this than crying over what happened two weeks ago.” And I guess that’s true.
Every moment of this show is so real. And every goddamn time I see Jack and I know that he died young, and Rebecca lost him, it pains me so much because they were soulmates. And he treated her so well. I don’t know if she realized it. I think she did, I don’t think when you have something so real and so good you take true advantage of it in the moment.
And then, once it’s gone, and that person is gone, you’re left with the memories and the loss and thoughts that maybe just maybe I should’ve appreciated it more and I should have told them, “I love you” more, or “Thank you for all you do.” I don’t know.
I just want something real and long and lasting and something so pure in love, and I know I found that once for about a month, but then I lost it. And I lost you. And I lost us. And I just feel like I didn’t take care of it like I should’ve.
I worry that I’m Rebecca and you were Jack. I don’t think that’s really true because Jack is just a fictional character, but there are a lot of things that are similar between you two. But I need to remember, Meg, you lost yourself, that can’t be the realest love you’ll ever have.
I hope you weren’t my great love story like Jack was Rebecca’s, but I know you were a love story of mine, and goddamn you were a true story, me and you were something.
But yeah, got a little off track. This Is Us, it’s maddening, it’s saddening and it’s just making me realize what’s really important. Isn’t that sad? A T.V. show is making me realize what’s important. How about that?