It’s amazing how one person, two people, or even three can make you feel like everything is going to work out.
There’s things I need to come to terms with:
- I lost the love of my life*
- I’m taking the semester off to become a better me that’s going to take over this world somehow
- I don’t have a f*cking clue what I want to do with my life
* Who I thought was the love of my life
I’m coming to terms to with all of this, I’m still getting over you, and I’ll probably never completely get over what we had, because it was short but it was everything. It was quite literally the most passionate love affair that either of us will ever have.
I wonder if you realize that. I wonder if you’ve thought about how we might never feel about someone else like we felt about each other. My god, we were something. We were a spectacle, a truly terrifying force. No one messed with us, but we messed with us. We were crazy, we were wild but we were so so so in love.
You know that. I know that. I hope for the both of us, we can find something that conquers what we had. The ups and downs were hell, but they made me feel alive. That’s bizarre, or so I’m told. But ya know, I’ve always been a weird girl, I have no doubts I’m going to be just fine and I’m going to be so happy.
Sure I wish it was with you, and I wonder if you wish your happiness was going to come with me. But maybe later, when everything has settled, when it’s been decided if you’re going to get reprimanded for what you did, we can talk. And we can talk about what exactly went wrong, and what went right, and if this love was what I thought it was.
Life is weird, I feel like I might be waking up, but I felt like I woke up when I met you. How many times can you wake up, really wake up? I don’t know, but so far I’ve had 3 wake ups and I’m 21. It’s not that it’s a bad thing, it’s not that it’s a good thing, it’s just overwhelmingly eye-opening.
I’m woke, you’re you, lemme know when you’re awake and might want to chat about what really happened, what went wrong, what could have been, and what still might be.